That Helpless Feeling
September 8, 2018 I received a call early in the morning from my daughter Samantha, “Mom, Aurora (my 4 year old granddaughter) is having a hard time breathing, I’m taking her to the ER.” The wait for the next call seemed to take forever. But incredibly, thanks to highly trained Doctors, nurses and staff, the diagnosis came quick. “Aurora has Type one Diabetes.”
I knew what T1D meant, I’ve seen it, I’ve studied it, I knew the cause, the jargon, I had a lifelong friend who had it. I didn’t live with it. I hadn’t been a mom with a child diagnosed. I had no idea really.
One year later, I see God. I watched as my daughter cried out to God believing and listening to a timely released Lauren Daigle song, Rescue. I watched as cheese sticks, yogurt, popsicles, gold fish, ice cream, all the snacks we take for granted become carb counts and scheduled and dosed or no dosing necessary. I learned new nomenclature like, free snacks, glucagon, Diabetic bag, Continuous Glucose Monitor, Insulin Pump, Lantus, Humalog Jr. I learned the half life of insulin. I learned equations that Samantha has memorized.
Warrior in the Making
Aurora the kindergartener can give you instructions on testing her blood sugar and what parameters it should fall. Maybe you take too long and really, she can do it herself. She is spot on to let you know the time for her Lantus dose and if her blood sugar is low.
Shouldn’t a kindergartener be concerned with her favorite colors, unicorns, and Playdoh??
I’ve watched from a distance. I’ve listened on the phone to a tired mom who has been told, “You are your daughter’s pancreas.” Which translates, “Your daughter’s life is completely in your hands. Every time her blood sugar goes up or down, it is your responsibility.”
I pray and watch. Encourage and steer where I can. There are thousands of phone calls to insurance companies who turn down or have complicated hoops to maneuver.
Signs and Wonders
What I know: Subscribing to encouraging websites and blogs are a lifeline (even for grandmas). God is faithful; I’ve seen Him move Samantha and her children. I’ve watched Him bless them with surprise financial breaks. I’ve seen His face shine upon them as they thought they were sitting in the dark, alone.
I’ve watched my child machete her way through and unknown jungle. I’ve watched the victory. I’ve watched her tell their daughter, “You are a type one diabetic, but you are powerful and can do anything.”
That is grit and Jesus right there!
Through it all, my eyes are on you Jesus. This isn't my story to tell. This is Samantha, Aurora, Weston, and Esther's story. I have been a spectator, a participant in a story that reveals strength, courage, and faith.
"I fasten my heart to the future. I run straight for the divine invitation of reaching the heavenly goal and gaining the victory-prize through the anointing of Jesus. And let us all advance together to reach this victory-prize, following one path with one passion." Philippians 3:13, 16 TPT